Criminal Mind...

So K has become quite interested in the role of the emergency services - fireman, police etc...

We were driving along the other day and had the following conversation:

K:Mummy if you squashed someone with our car would the police come?

Me: Yes they probably would.

K: Would they take you to jail?

Me: yes probably

K: Well if you squash someone just run away and I'll drive the car

Me: and where would you take the car?

K: to auntie's house.  You would have to run and when you get to auntie's house shut the door quickly so the police don't see you!

Me: ok...

K: if the police get you and take you to jail don't worry because I have a key over there so I can get you out.

Me:  What if the police see you?

K: Daddy has a key so he will save you...or if you squash someone with your car and the police come just squash the police too!  Are there more police?...

Me: yes there would be more police...maybe it would be best if I just don't squash anyone with my car!

K: Yeah that would be good...

Purple Blood

So today I had to go to the hospital for a blood test.  On the way there I decided to explain to K where we were going and what was going to happen.  She was immediately alarmed and kept saying "I don't want us to go there lets just go home".  She asked me where they were going to get my blood from and I said they would take it from my arm.  I explained that it was nothing to worry about and that it wouldn't be scary but she wasn't totally convinced.  Once we parked the car I started telling her that the hospital is where ambulances go to take sick people and that women also go there when they have babies and the doctors help to take them out.  I explained that if you break an arm or leg you could go there to get it fixed.  We had to wait 30mins in the waiting room and k was starting to worry again as she kept seeing people coming out with cotton wool taped to their arm.  She said "mum why is the doctor going to cut your arm with scissors?!".  I explained again about the needle and then they called us in.  K stood next to me holding my hand ad her jaw literally dropped to the ground one she saw my blood running out into the canister.  The phlebotomist laughed and said "don't worry it doesn't hurt!  look it looks like blackcurrant!".  I heard a sharp intake of breath from K at the idea that I could be filled with fruit juice and the expression on her face was priceless!  I wish I had my camera!  Once we were done I pulled down my sleeve and we waved goodbye.  As we passed back through the packed waiting room K said "Why did she have to use the needle?".  I said it was so she could take my blood.  Then in her loudest voice she said "and why didn't she take the baby out of your tummy?!"  I could only laugh because the ground refused to open up and swallow me!

On the drive home K was full of questions and wanted to know "Why didn't she take the blood from your back?!  Why did she have to take it from your arm?",  " why did you sit down?  why couldn't you stand up?!".  "I haven't got any blood so they cant take mine", "does everybody have blood in their body?!"


"Mummy, your blood is PURPLE!"  "Can we go there again to get your purple blood out?!"

See you soon Miss Moon!

I was late picking up K from her after school care this evening.  When I got there she was under a chair and I could tell she was hyped up.  She immediately ran outside into the playground and was determined not to come and get ready to go home.  So I start chatting with the care leader (Mrs W) and K comes in and decides she's ready to go "right now".  I asked her to wait a minute but patience is not one of her strong qualities!  So she decides to flash her bum.  Mrs W suddenly says "K I can see your bottom!".  Not one to miss an opportunity K then pulled her shorts and underwear right down so she was mooning Mrs W!  Needles to say K thought this was all hilarious!

I wish I had photos to embarrass this girl with in 10 years time!

Miss K Middleton ;)

Like most of the world K was struck with Royal Wedding Fever.  After a street party at school she had the hen party complete and was all set for her big day.

So we settle down in front of the TV and get ready to witness the big event.  K can hardly contain herself.  She's jumping on the sofa and frantically waving as the cars leave the Palace.  She seems amazed that there is a real Queen and that Princes and Princesses are actually real people!

As Kate Middleton steps into her car I start explaining to K that Kate is going to marry Prince William and become a Princess.  K seems happy with this idea until the car stops outside of Westminster Abbey and Kate steps out of the car.  A look of horror sweeps over K's face and she says "I wanted to wear that dress first!!!"  She is less than amused.  All the way down the aisle K is grumbling about the fact that Kate didn't let her wear the dress first.

Later that evening we go over to my mums and I tell her how upset K was about missing out on the dress.  The highlights are showing on BBC1 and K says "I'm going to be that Princess in that dress and THAT man is going to kiss ME!"

I didn't have the heart to burst her bubble - I just hope the Royal family are ready for K to join them!

The Thrill Seeker

So in the last few weeks I have taken K to Chessington world of adventures, Carter's Steam fair and another local fun fair.  It seems she is a little thrill seeker.  She wants to go on all the rides she is too little for and is not too pleased when she has to get on the merry-go-rounds

At Chessington she was fascinated by the big roller coasters and in particular the vampire ride.  As it shot past overhead we'd hear the trail of screams.   K wanted to know why they were screaming and I explained to her that they were scared but excited at the same time so they screamed.

So at the local fun fair they had a few miniature rides for the kids.  K wanted to go on the ferris wheel and as it was small she rode alone.  All of a sudden we hear this screaming as she gets to the top and I think "oh no she hates it!".  As it came back down again she was smiling and then started screaming like banshee again!  The ride operator was just laughing...the ferris wheel was not high!  When she got off I asked her why she was screaming and she said "because I was on the ride!"

It's been 8 months since my last K-fession!

So it's been a while and I am ashamed to say that the K-isms have been coming thick and fast and I just forgot all about my blog!

So I'm going to use this post as a gag roll for some of the little status updates I've made on facebook lately:

me: K it's time for bed, you need to give your eyes and your mouth some rest. 

k: I don't want to give my eyes rest. 

me:well you have to sleep K. 

k: ok I'll go to sleep but I not rest my eyes

K just looked at my tattoo and said "who done that?! ratatouille?!"

 

K:Say hello to Mickey

Me: Hello Mickey

K: No his name's Mickey Mouse!

Me: Hello Mickey Mouse

k:"give my mickey mouse a high 5!

(I give Mickey a high 5)

K: now give him a huggle!

 

me: stop hitting me

k: I'm not hitting you I'm boxing you...

So now to get back in the habit!